The synical side...I am a Lemming!

For those of you who really know me, know that sometimes I like to get on a soapbox. Well, friends, if you are one of those lucky...or unlucky people, just get ready. I know I have a particular voice I like to use. Let me remind you what it sounds like, it's loud, fast, and irrational. If you try to argue with me no matter how logical your argument is you will never get me to yield. NEVER! Get ready, here it comes. WHO THE FREAK ever thought hey, here's some wet dirt that likes to hold form, I will name it clay. And who was the idiot who took it further than that and said, lets take this dirt which shall be called clay, and lets form it in something...say a piece of fruit. (What the real stuff with the yummy juices inside wasn't good enough for him?) Then the next idiot came along and said, lets take this earth now called clay and lets form it into a pot for carrying water. Ok, I'll give it up to village idiot #3...carrying water is a good idea. But then village idiot #4 comes along and says, lets take this humid dirt that will henceforth be known as clay, and lets get a fast moving round table and lets take our human fleshy hands, and lets make a pot!
*Momentary break to discuss nature*
You know the problem with lemmings isn't that they are more famous than their close cousins the groundhog, no their problem is that they like to jump off cliffs.
*Smooth Transition back to topic*
Well, trying to make clay into a pot on a fast movie table is...well it's suicide. Do you know how fast those tables move? If we are talking light years, I'm sure it can circle the earth at least 12 times in about 65 years! That's bookin it! And that is without any pit stops because not only do these tables lack the need to eat and answer nature's call, but they have this automatic pedal that allows them to spin at this speed for all eternity. Well, friends, I am a Lemming! I am! I admit it. You need it in writing? Here it is. You need it in ink, print this out and there you have it. Friends do things and I say, OK! Lets take ceramics. OK! Let's all wear pink. OK! Let's all hang upside down till we pass out. ...short pause...Is everyone doing it? Yes. OK! So today we tried to learn how to throw pots. Dang, I wish I would have had my camera. Starla, Amy, and I were covered head to toe in wet clay which I swear magically becomes cement. Starla is a freakin natural at molding clay. The girl, with one eye because the other eye was brutally attacked by flinging clay off Amy's wheel, pulls out these beautiful pots. I think she is going to be making some english china next week if you want to put your order in! Amy, who is the one I can usually count on to keep me company in the 'this sucks cuz i can't do it' catagory, out of no where pulls out several pots with JOY! That's right, not only did it not suck, but she was finding JOY in her work. THE NERVE! And then there is me. One word....Lemming. Only this time I was flying off the cliff while the rest of the group took a the chance to stop, check out the scenery, and ponder the meaning of life. KKEEERRRR SPLAT! Oh yeah, and you wanna hear the danger side of throwing? Those wheels are not user friendly. Since they are traveling at the unnatural speed I mentioned before, if you go to manipulate that clay, shake it's hand, or compliment it on it's mullet it will freaking take the sides of your hands off so fast...they don't even have time to bleed! If I didn't have the reflexes I have this blog never would have been posted. I'm sure it would have sucked me in up to my elbows and my keyboard is not elbow typing friendly! Then on top of that my lump of clay comes hurling at me as the syntrifical (yeah, sound that one out cuz I have no idea how it's spelled and I do not have time so stop and proof read. I'm ranting here!) motion launches it from it's calm foundation on the wheel and decides to take out my torso. That's right. I have battle wounds. It's a dangerous life us lemmings have to live. But someone has to live it. And bygosh, my grade depends on my ability to throw 6 cylinders and 8 bowls and you know what, they will be thrown. And i can almost guarantee that like a true lemming I will one day enjoy it simply because everyone else is doing it. And as those pieces emerge from the kiln they will be photographed and displayed on this blog. And then you will know...exactly why I should have been an art teacher. Because only one as artistic as I can see the circle within the square edges of...well pretty much anything that is suppose to be round and never is.
ThisPLUSEQUAL

I would like to dedicate this entry to all those aztec indians who probably started this pottery stuff and all those lemmings who find multiple cliffs to jump off. Keep jumping cuz in your case life is too short for...well, for practically anything!